You are super busy with a jam-packed calendar, and saying "No thank you" is the only response you want to give in return...
but you do not feel good about declining. However, a part of you feel you should be grateful that someone thought enough of you to extend an invite to the event, for which you are thankful. You feel guilty for your thoughts and feelings, but this is not a new experience for you, therefore inadvertently making it easy for you to feel bad and ashamed for not wanting to do things for and with others and similarly to guilt yourself into doing what is being asked of you.
You find yourself thinking about everything you have accomplished, earned, received, or experienced with layers of negative energy because it continues to create an expectation of you for yourself and others, thus making you both emotionally and mentally exhausted and depleted.
Feelings of helplessness and hopelessness easily bombard you, thus making it hard to ignore them as they grow stronger daily.
Consequently, you are most concerned with the anger, frustration, annoyance, irritation, sadness, hurt, and emotional pain you feel toward everyone and everything, but most importantly yourself.
Although you would not have identified your symptoms as depressive, it may be time to consider that you have High-Functioning Depression.
Experiencing the depressive symptoms, but they are less intense than Major Depressive Disorder and, therefore, appear to be more manageable.
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Able to perform daily activities and maintain relationships with others regardless of them being healthy or unhealthy, despite the depressive symptoms.
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Repression of emotions and thoughts from loved ones out of fear of hurting others leads to struggling with chronic somatic symptoms, such as migraines, stomach issues, and body pain.
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Self-medicating or engaging in behaviors to numb the pain, such as restricting food, binge eating, excessive drinking, etc.
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Completing daily tasks that take significant amounts of energy from you to complete.
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At Dahlia Rose Wellness Center, we define Depression as Anger that has been repressed over time and transformed into deep sadness.
These experiences are not new to our clients as they have been taught anger is a negative emotion and should not be displayed because it can be dangerous to themselves and others. As a result, when something happens to a client who is unfairly treated, harm is done to them, or they are unable to adequately and safely express themselves, their expression of anger is to be silenced because it is an unacceptable response (especially if the person who caused the pain is someone close). Similarly, feeling the emotions and sensation of anger creates confusion around how the client should express this emotion outwardly and how to care for it inwardly. Anxiety can also be developed over time because of the fear of the unknown.
On the other hand, sadness is a more acceptable emotion to express because it garners care and compassion (possibly from the person who is connected to the source of the anger)...
thus creating temporary positive feelings that are only meant to satisfy the need to know they will not inflict harm on you anymore. We teach clients how to acknowledge the immediate desire for safety and trust to be reestablished and then work on creating a healthier and more realistic experience for them to receive the care they are looking for from the person who harmed them.
When our clients work with us, they get practical strategies and tools to increase their mood, shift their thoughts, change their self-talk to be more positive, and care for themselves through the eight areas of wellness (emotional, mental, relational, spiritual, financial, physical, environmental, and occupational).
